I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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