So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
