A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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