So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
