youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
