Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
