i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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