Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
