Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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