lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
