Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
