I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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