PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
