so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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