I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Are we still banned from the library?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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