I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
