I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
