Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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