there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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