well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ladies don't puke and tell
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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