i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
