I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
