We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He better not be in your backpack
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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