I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
time to smoke my breakfast
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
