Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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