I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
