There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
