Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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