haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
