I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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