his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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