Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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