i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
