I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
