Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your cock deserves a montage
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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