It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
