Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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