I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
