I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
