I CAN MOONWALK!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
