yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
