I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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