Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
