I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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