its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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