Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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