So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
