I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
