he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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