He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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