If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
