I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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